It's midnight and I get up for my usual middle of the night pee. Things didn't go as per usual athough, I've become used to seeing strange things crawl on walls while we've been in Asia. I flick on the bathroom light and open the door to find a little frog on the floor which at first glance surprised me but then I was overcome with relief that it was just a frog.
After I was finished in the bathroom I stepped over the frog, closed the door behind me, shut the light and climbed back into bed. Maybe 3 minutes after I was back in bed Vee turned over and we suddenly heard a loud fluttering noise... In this very moment, I knew that for one, Vee's heart had just skipped a beat and two, this could turn into a long night/process.
You might wonder why a loud fluttering noise might cause such stress for her? Well anyone who knows her well, knows that her ears are sensitive especially when it comes to fluttering and buzzing noises anywhere around her let alone her ears. In record speed she turns on her bedside light and goes "What the f*ck was that!?!??!!!??!?", I reply with a "I don't know, I think it came from the curtains".
Literally 30 seconds after my statement and after a thorough look around from the bed was made by Vee, this MASSIVE flying insect flew out of the curtains and into the room. Ok, when I say massive I mean like, the size of a large cockroach but at the time we were acting like it was the size of a BIRD! First thing that happened was a mild heart attack on Vee's behalf and a feeling of disgust on mine.
These feelings were followed by a bit of yelling and both of us jumping straight out of bed with our eye as wide open as they possibly could open. The monstrous thing was flying around the bathroom door and so with Vee's head poking up from behind the bed, I knew I'd have to kill in order for her to be able to go back to sleep.
Now I'm no hero and I hate bugs just as much as the next person, so the little girl inside of me came right out and I was trying to decide what to do about this horrid situation. I had Vee at one end of the room yelling with panic, telling me to kill it and I had this huge a$$ bug unsettlingly flying around at the other end. I picked up a towel and started trying to hit it, I missed once then ended up getting it the second time and I left the towel on it.
Atleast it wasn't flying and fluttering around anymore, which meant that the coast was clear...ish for Vee to come out from behind the bed. I knew it wasn't dead yet so I tried whipping it with a second towel and having an additional towel above this thing gave us a bit more relief, it wasn't enough for our troubled hearts. At this point I'm thinking, well this thing is under there, probably still alive so it could crawl out and we would have to go through all of this again in a few hours so... We better deal with this now.
So now Vee and I are arguing over who's going to lift the towel or what to do next. We decided that walking on the towel is probably a good idea before lifting it. The dilemma here is the fact that I despise and am extremely grossed out by loud crunching noises and Vee's heart still isn't on a regular beat and her eyes are the size of golf balls. She finds the courage that I was lacking in this moment, puts on her flip flops and runs over to the towels stomping on them as quickly and hard as she could.
No crunch... It's my turn now I guess. I take the little bench from the vanity table thing and tried to place it where I thought was the bug. The loudest most deafening CRUNCH!! Followed my dropping of the bench and it massively disturbed me so I stepped away and needed a moment to recover. I swear this thing sounded like it was a rib cage and we had just crushed the sh!t out of it... I'm not exaggerating.
Now that we're both pretty convinced it's dead I lift the towel that we thought is wasn't under to single out the other one but of course, I almost shit myself when it ended up being under this towel and not the other one. Thankfully it wasn't moving and at this point in time Vee had had enough and threw her flip flop on top of it then put her second one on top and started stomping on it like a mad woman.
It's dead! And we didn't die even though we were acting like a serial killer was in the room. After all of this, we are still awake, it's 1:45 am, Vee's goosebumps won't go away and I'm trying to comfort her enough so she will shut the light off so we can go to sleep. All I know is that I have never been so disturbed yet laughed so much in my life, Vee's reactions were absolutely priceless and I'd give a lot to have this whole nightmare on video.
A bientot,
Janelle Brine
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